Since I Found Out About Our Little Shrimp!!!
That's what the baby looked like on the ultrasound yesterday at about 5.5 weeks... Dr. Simckes said it was one healthy looking embryo and was looking just like it should at that stage...
But, I still worry... the last baby Pat and I created in 2003 stopped developing around 6.5 weeks...
I will worry until this baby arrives in Heaven or on Earth, then if it is Earth, I'll worry about all sorts of new things like SIDS...
My sense of smell really kicked in last Saturday- 3 weeks after the baby was conceived... then today, I have had waves of nausea sweep over me- not to bad, but enough to catch my attention...
I'm anxiously looking forward to going to The Perinatal Center on Thursday... I'm praying we see a strong, healthy heart beat... I think that will bring me peace of mind...
It's 9:25 and I have been up since 7:15- usually I take a nap- I'm exhausted and going to bed!!!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Beta and Book Ideas!!!
On Wednesday morning, I called the office manager- I was driving myself crazy!!! Beta 3985 and Progesterone was 132!!! By Wednesday afternoon I was obsessively reading about Molar Pregnancies- which high betas can be related to per the website I picked... Pat said I just needed something to obsess and worry about... so true... what is wrong with me???
My ultrasound appointment is at 11:45- that is about 9 hours away... I can't sleep... it is 2:58 am... I woke up because I had to go potty so badly...
Book title that just came to me... I should get permission to use Deb's Blog Title 1st... assuming God has blessed me with my dream of twins, again...
"Who Says 8 Is Enough?" A "Real Mom's" journey of love, infertility, international adoption, domestic adoption, embryo adoption, and spontaneous pregnancy at 40...
Which "Real Mom" brings me to the blog post I need to write on my other blog....
My ultrasound appointment is at 11:45- that is about 9 hours away... I can't sleep... it is 2:58 am... I woke up because I had to go potty so badly...
Book title that just came to me... I should get permission to use Deb's Blog Title 1st... assuming God has blessed me with my dream of twins, again...
"Who Says 8 Is Enough?" A "Real Mom's" journey of love, infertility, international adoption, domestic adoption, embryo adoption, and spontaneous pregnancy at 40...
Which "Real Mom" brings me to the blog post I need to write on my other blog....
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Flustered By My Doc's Office...
This email to the office manager sums it up... Honestly, I cannot receive my test results until my doctor signs them??? Bull Shit!!! I also call "power struggle" on the nurse who hasn't received my results yet- can't wait to double check a copy of the time faxed... I'm just a little flustered...
Dear Tami,
After being told by Rachel on Monday @ 10 am that she had my lab results that were "stat" on Friday afternoon, but she could not release them to me until Dr. S reviewed them, I was a bit furious- why? Because they are my results and I am the one paying for them... I asked if she would request another HCG and progesterone level to be drawn and she agreed to do so...
Two hours after speaking with Rachel, I returned to Quest and they did not have the order... luckily they called the office and finally received this... meanwhile I am paying a babysitter and my kindergarteners were late for school... since I had been informed that Dr. Simckes would not read my results until Tuesday, I canceled the STAT order for this order... I do not want to be charged extra for this service...
Today, when I called the office to get my results, Rachel reminded me the results were not available as I canceled the "stat" requirement... in my 15 years of infertility experience and many, many lab tests, Quest and formerly Smith Kline ALWAYS had the results the next morning without requesting STAT- regardless, Rachel said they were not faxed in yet, did not offer to check the computer as the kind nurse Mary Kay would do at the "old practice", etc... Rachel also informed me to office was closed on Wednesday and I would not get my results until Thursday...
Given that I am now unable to receive my results until Thursday, I am requesting a pin number from Quest so that I can personally review my test results online... I am attaching Quest's Welcome Letter in case you are not aware of this wonderful program... In addition, I am forwarding my "thank you" from Quest for being a "Become a VIP (Very Informed Patient): begin the process of getting your physician ordered lab results online."
I am looking forward to receiving my pin number so that I can personally check for my results or receiving my results by the end of the workday today since the office is closed tomorrow.
Thanks!!!
Dear Tami,
After being told by Rachel on Monday @ 10 am that she had my lab results that were "stat" on Friday afternoon, but she could not release them to me until Dr. S reviewed them, I was a bit furious- why? Because they are my results and I am the one paying for them... I asked if she would request another HCG and progesterone level to be drawn and she agreed to do so...
Two hours after speaking with Rachel, I returned to Quest and they did not have the order... luckily they called the office and finally received this... meanwhile I am paying a babysitter and my kindergarteners were late for school... since I had been informed that Dr. Simckes would not read my results until Tuesday, I canceled the STAT order for this order... I do not want to be charged extra for this service...
Today, when I called the office to get my results, Rachel reminded me the results were not available as I canceled the "stat" requirement... in my 15 years of infertility experience and many, many lab tests, Quest and formerly Smith Kline ALWAYS had the results the next morning without requesting STAT- regardless, Rachel said they were not faxed in yet, did not offer to check the computer as the kind nurse Mary Kay would do at the "old practice", etc... Rachel also informed me to office was closed on Wednesday and I would not get my results until Thursday...
Given that I am now unable to receive my results until Thursday, I am requesting a pin number from Quest so that I can personally review my test results online... I am attaching Quest's Welcome Letter in case you are not aware of this wonderful program... In addition, I am forwarding my "thank you" from Quest for being a "Become a VIP (Very Informed Patient): begin the process of getting your physician ordered lab results online."
I am looking forward to receiving my pin number so that I can personally check for my results or receiving my results by the end of the workday today since the office is closed tomorrow.
Thanks!!!
Jen McLaughlin
Extremely Blessed Mom of Seven Adopted Miracles
2 Adopted Before Birth, 5 Adopted After Birth
2 Adopted Before Birth, 5 Adopted After Birth
The IVF coordinator did call yesterday with my amazing numbers... HCG: 1529 and Progesterone: 32!!!!
Monday, April 25, 2011
The Details... Probably Too Much Information
So... it was Saturday morning, April 2, about 8 am... Pat and I woke up and were talking... the 5 older kids were downstairs watching TV, while Sarah and Anna slept in their room... Pat started to rub my shoulders and well, we shut the door and unknowingly made a baby... I thought I may be ovulating, but it was only cycle day 10 or 11, as I wasn't sure if my period started on March 23 or 24...
During this cycle, even though I was completely down and sad about the previous year's events and stressed about the photo shoot for St. Louis Magazine, etc... I was at peace with our decision to wait to adopt embryos again and to have another child... the only other time I remember having this sense of peace and contentment about not actively pursuing another baby was when Pat and I created a baby in July, 2003... I also had this HUGE craving for salty foods- Patrick talked me into buying a Sam's size container of nuts and I ate most of them... usually I'm not a huge nut eater... and salted tortilla chips with salsa and black beans... yum!!!
Each month, I hope for the miracle to occur, so I was watching the calendar- all of the signs for my period were there: weight gain... the highest since giving birth in 1-2010 @ 137, bloating, CRABBY, emotional... I was sobbing through the entire episode of Parenthood- I mean BOO HOO- on Wednesday the 20th...
Wednesday night, day 28 or 29, I tell Pat that I may be pregnant... He was quiet for a moment, then said... "Well, that would be one lucky shot..." Pat had told me since Sarah and Anna were tiny, that if God blessed us with a miracle, then he would be OK with it... he just wasn't ready to do anything "extra" that involved doctors, etc... A few minutes later, he said, "If by some chance you are pregnant... I want naming rights..., you can offer suggestions, but I make the final decision..." That's because he didn't "approve" of my names for the girls: Estelle and Isabelle... Stella and Bella... Well, they ended up being the girls middle names and occasional nicknames...
Thursday night came and I bought a Dollar Tree home pregnancy test... I made sure I bought one that expired the furthest date available, just in case my period started that night... I almost didn't use it on Friday morning... I didn't want to waste it...
Still no sign of spotting, so I talked myself into using it... Patrick started negotiating with me about going to Downtown Kirkwood after school right outside my bathroom... I told them to check their grades online as they are supposed to have straight A's to get to go...
I pottied in a Happy Birthday paper cup also from the Dollar Tree- I thought that was appropriate... in hopes the test would be positive and the cup was a sign of birthdays to come...
I reread the directions- fearing I would put my 3 drops in the wrong well...
Patrick had straight A's the shout from the computer desk in my room... OK, how about William?
I shout back... 1, 2, 3 drops... I take a deep breath... I tell myself it will be OK either way... I'm leaning over the test on my counter, watching the urine saturate the test wells, first the control line turns dark red and almost as quickly, I see another faint line forming for the test line... "Oh shit, that's a line..." I hear Alicia's southern drawl, which I love, from almost 2 years ago when I tested at home after the transfer of Sarah and Anna... "A line's a line..."
Next Patrick and William are back outside the door talking about William having straight A's with 2 B's... not sure what I said, but agreed they could go as the next 30 minutes is a bit blurry in my mind... I grabbed the test and box, then headed downstairs to share the news with Pat...
Pat is yelling at William to brush his teeth before his ride to school comes... I think to myself that now probably isn't the time to share the news and stand in the kitchen for what seems like eternity... the boys head out the door and I smile at Pat, tell him that, "It WAS one lucky shot..." and motion him into the living room... Lizzy follows, finally we are able to get her out of the room and Pat stutters, "What do you mean... what did you do... did you take one of those things... you know... one of those tests???" I'm grinning ear to ear and show him the test along with the box so he can read the results himself... He replies, "That's an awfully light line..." I said yes it is, the same color it was with Sarah and Anna..." Pat walks back into the kitchen and I just stare at the test...in complete and total amazement... Still numb and in shock, I walked back into the kitchen and picked up the phone... Pat asks, "Who are you going to call?" I replied, "Whoever I want..." and dialed Alicia... Alicia always is so supportive and says just the right things to calm my nerves... I just adore her... We decide the baby is a boy and chat for about 30 minutes...
A while later, Pat is getting ready for work a comes into my bathroom looking for toothpaste... He says, "By the way... I was serious about the naming rights" and smiles...
During this cycle, even though I was completely down and sad about the previous year's events and stressed about the photo shoot for St. Louis Magazine, etc... I was at peace with our decision to wait to adopt embryos again and to have another child... the only other time I remember having this sense of peace and contentment about not actively pursuing another baby was when Pat and I created a baby in July, 2003... I also had this HUGE craving for salty foods- Patrick talked me into buying a Sam's size container of nuts and I ate most of them... usually I'm not a huge nut eater... and salted tortilla chips with salsa and black beans... yum!!!
Each month, I hope for the miracle to occur, so I was watching the calendar- all of the signs for my period were there: weight gain... the highest since giving birth in 1-2010 @ 137, bloating, CRABBY, emotional... I was sobbing through the entire episode of Parenthood- I mean BOO HOO- on Wednesday the 20th...
Wednesday night, day 28 or 29, I tell Pat that I may be pregnant... He was quiet for a moment, then said... "Well, that would be one lucky shot..." Pat had told me since Sarah and Anna were tiny, that if God blessed us with a miracle, then he would be OK with it... he just wasn't ready to do anything "extra" that involved doctors, etc... A few minutes later, he said, "If by some chance you are pregnant... I want naming rights..., you can offer suggestions, but I make the final decision..." That's because he didn't "approve" of my names for the girls: Estelle and Isabelle... Stella and Bella... Well, they ended up being the girls middle names and occasional nicknames...
Thursday night came and I bought a Dollar Tree home pregnancy test... I made sure I bought one that expired the furthest date available, just in case my period started that night... I almost didn't use it on Friday morning... I didn't want to waste it...
Still no sign of spotting, so I talked myself into using it... Patrick started negotiating with me about going to Downtown Kirkwood after school right outside my bathroom... I told them to check their grades online as they are supposed to have straight A's to get to go...
I pottied in a Happy Birthday paper cup also from the Dollar Tree- I thought that was appropriate... in hopes the test would be positive and the cup was a sign of birthdays to come...
I reread the directions- fearing I would put my 3 drops in the wrong well...
Patrick had straight A's the shout from the computer desk in my room... OK, how about William?
I shout back... 1, 2, 3 drops... I take a deep breath... I tell myself it will be OK either way... I'm leaning over the test on my counter, watching the urine saturate the test wells, first the control line turns dark red and almost as quickly, I see another faint line forming for the test line... "Oh shit, that's a line..." I hear Alicia's southern drawl, which I love, from almost 2 years ago when I tested at home after the transfer of Sarah and Anna... "A line's a line..."
Next Patrick and William are back outside the door talking about William having straight A's with 2 B's... not sure what I said, but agreed they could go as the next 30 minutes is a bit blurry in my mind... I grabbed the test and box, then headed downstairs to share the news with Pat...
Pat is yelling at William to brush his teeth before his ride to school comes... I think to myself that now probably isn't the time to share the news and stand in the kitchen for what seems like eternity... the boys head out the door and I smile at Pat, tell him that, "It WAS one lucky shot..." and motion him into the living room... Lizzy follows, finally we are able to get her out of the room and Pat stutters, "What do you mean... what did you do... did you take one of those things... you know... one of those tests???" I'm grinning ear to ear and show him the test along with the box so he can read the results himself... He replies, "That's an awfully light line..." I said yes it is, the same color it was with Sarah and Anna..." Pat walks back into the kitchen and I just stare at the test...in complete and total amazement... Still numb and in shock, I walked back into the kitchen and picked up the phone... Pat asks, "Who are you going to call?" I replied, "Whoever I want..." and dialed Alicia... Alicia always is so supportive and says just the right things to calm my nerves... I just adore her... We decide the baby is a boy and chat for about 30 minutes...
A while later, Pat is getting ready for work a comes into my bathroom looking for toothpaste... He says, "By the way... I was serious about the naming rights" and smiles...
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Our Good Friday Miracle!!!
Two days later and I am still stunned that God has granted me my wish and dream come true!!! Almost 15 years after we first tried... I pray God will allow me to meet this blessing on Earth... I know that if not on Earth then in Heaven... But my choice is on Earth...
I just love laying in bed, dreaming and thinking about our blessing!!!
I just love laying in bed, dreaming and thinking about our blessing!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)